Having worked as a full-time professional relationship expert for many years I can tell you that yes there are certain problems that can arise from dating an older guy but there are also a lot of benefits and quite often when someone says that their age gap relationship did not work they are simply seeking an excuse and it had nothing to do with it. I personally have lost count of the number of very dishonest or silly men who have told me that the reason their relationship did not work out is because of and then state an excuse such as their age, height, hair colouring, job, none of which makes any sense when you think about it properly.
When they say their age it might have been that the woman realised that the older guy is quite old for his age, a fuddy duddy, wanting to be tucked up in bed with his hot water bottle early and not much fun. No doubt that man was just as boring when he was much younger! I get lots of letters from clients who are concerned about dating an older guy and their own age gap problem or are worried about someone who is a friend or family.You can get a person who is mature physically and his date of birth says he has been on this planet a lot longer but they might still be naive and unwordly and have no more knowledge than the person who has just left school. If you only want to sleep with the person then maybe it is only whether or not they are fit and healthy that matters. But even when you are sleeping with them you might want some intelligent conversation or a sense of humour.
I was once pursued by a very old potential lover. All young women get guys pursuing them, sometimes they are much older than the woman. Very often the guy is physically attracted to a younger woman and only thinking about her looks and sex and forgets what she would get out of it is often nothing at all, other than problems. He very much wanted me to be dating an older guy – him – who had nothing in common with me at all yet when I told him no he wanted to believe it was because he had a wonky eye rather than because of his personality, age or attitude! The wonky eye was another reason to say no but not the main one. His arrogance in assuming that being twice as old or more as me was one of the main ones. And he did not care at all that we had nothing in common! He simply wanted a woman, any woman, so long as she was a lot younger. Some who are mature are sensible and have a lot to offer but being of a mature age is no guarantee. When thinking about dating an older guy there is free advice can generalise and cover many variables but it is always best to consult a qualified professional personally if you can. There are a lot of agony aunts and psychics out there you can go to. There are also a lot of ministers and counsellors and relationship experts you can talk to. And you can get books about these subjects and read articles online for free.
What a younger woman might get from being wanting to be dating an older guy will vary but in the majority of these relationships she is seeking a father figure. Others are looking for a sugar daddy, someone to take care of them financially, and to them it is a business deal, though they won’t tell the guy that. Usually she denies it and insists this is untrue, but if she is seeking someone who is stable, wise, tolerant, patient, kind, gentle and helpful and general with money that is the role a father would normally play in our lives.
She may forget there are down sides to this age gap. Perhaps he has a problem with his hearing, eye sight, rheumatism, arthritis, general fitness, copd, heart maybe even dementia? Perhaps he is set in his way and sticks to a rigid routine? He might hate crowds, parties and noise. He may be wanting to drink chocolate and go to bed very early. He may be used to women who are empty headed and be disinterested in women who can think for themselves, preferring a woman who is ornamental or functional. Maybe he is or will become impotent. He probably has children from a past relationship but if he has to still see his ex partner that can hurt. He may have problems with money.
Before deciding to be dating an older guy seriously do find out everything you need to know about this person before you make any commitments to him or get seriously interested. If you just want some fun then get stuck in and do not allow yourself to fall in love! That would spoil things, making it hard to break up with him if it is wise to. Whether you choose lovers who are older, same age or younger there will be problems and compromises so do not let this put you off if this is really for you. Some really enjoy the relationship, some go through the motions for the benefits. I am a mature lady, wise for my age so I find it impossible to get on with very young guys in a serious way.